| It's only natural for parents to feel
uneasy and uncertain when contemplating a path for their children
other than the one they themselves traveled. Those of us who decide to
unschool - even when we are convinced that this is the best option for
our child - must unlearn many unfounded assumptions about learning
that we were conditioned to believe for so many years. If we can do
that, we can rediscover the natural love of learning we were born
with. |
| Most of us were taught at school to see a false
dichotomy between "learning" and "fun". We came to
believe that if it's "educational", it can't be fun, and if
it's fun, it can't be learning! A child who is unschooled from the
beginning, as my son Jason has been, enjoys life free of such
preconceptions, and continues to see all learning as a wondrous and
rewarding experience. In contrast, schools operate under the very
different assumption that learning can be imposed from outside the
child through various types of coercion, manipulation, rewards and
punishments, and that there are distinct deadlines a child "has
to" reach or he will never "catch up" (one must ask,
catch up with whom, and why?) These are false assumptions, but it can
be difficult to let them go when they were so ingrained in our own
childhood. |
Most of us were
taught at school to see a false dichotomy between "learning"
and "fun". |
| While an understanding of the true
spirit of learning comes naturally to Jason, I have had to unlearn
many of these assumptions. In that sense, Jason has been my mentor,
continually reminding me that learning is not restricted to a specific
curriculum, location, time of day, or even to the presence of a
"teacher". Jason has taught himself much of what he now uses
in his work as our Natural Child Project webmaster and editor.
In a way, we are a generation with a most difficult task, because
we are truly forging new trails and gaining new understandings. As I
often remind parents in my workshops, unschooling should be much
easier when children who were themselves unschooled choose this path
for their own children. For them, unschooling will be the norm, and
they will have no need to unlearn so many well-meant but harmful
beliefs. They will have a much simpler and truer understanding: every
child grows at their own natural pace, and, like flower gardeners,
parents simply need to trust their children's unique schedules.
Just as we trust a rose to bloom on its own built-in timetable, so
too should we expect children to bloom at their own best pace, and in
their own way. There is so much time for a child to grow! If he or she
reads fluently at three, at six, or even at twelve, what difference
does that really make in the long run? The only real difference it can
make is a positive one: a child who is trusted to read when he is
ready has the best chance of enjoying a lifetime of pleasurable
reading. Yet, because we attended years of school, such understandings
can be hard to grasp. Every unschooling parent has likely felt
intimidated and unsure at some point. Unschooling is a leap of faith
for any parent who attended school in their own childhood.
Jason is now a young adult. When I look back over the years, I see
joyful, enthusiastic learning that I have been privileged to share. It
has been a happy experience that couldn't have been further from the
six hours of drudgery that I had first imagined it would be! Jason not
only enjoys learning many things, he sees learning as an interesting,
integral part of all life, not a separate activity confined to
specific locations, days, or times. In that sense, he is still
"unschooling" and always will be. For Jason, this path has
been far more than just an alternative to formal schooling; it has
prepared him to live a life full of curiosity and wonder.
As John Holt once wrote, "Living is learning." This
statement appears in an engaging collection of Holt's letters called A
Life Worth Living. Judging from my own experience, I believe that
unschooling is a leap worth taking, one that can lead to a life worth
living. But this leap does not need to be attempted alone. Unschooling
friends and support groups, books, articles, and websites can be very
enlightening. But most of all, we can allow our child to teach us how
joyful and natural learning can be. For instruction on unschooling,
our children are the single best source of encouragement, inspiration,
and reassurance we can have. |
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