Since adolescence I have wondered why so many people take
pleasure in humiliating others. Clearly the fact that some are
sensitive to the suffering of others proves that the destructive
urge to hurt is not a universal aspect of human nature. So why
do some tend to solve their problems by violence while others
don't?
Philosophy failed to answer my question and the Freudian
theory of the death instinct has never convinced me. Nor could I
make sense of genetic explanations of the evil, of the naive
idea that a human being can be "born bad." Nobody
could answer the crucial question: How is it that so many
turn-of-the-century German children were born with such
malignant genes that they'd later become Hitler's willing
executioners? It has always been inconceivable to me that a
child who comes into the world among attentive, loving and
protective caregivers could become a monster. Then, by closely
examining the childhood histories of murderers, especially mass
murderers and dictators, I began to comprehend the roots of good
and evil: not in the genes, as commonly believed, but in the
earliest days of life. Today, neurobiological research seems to
fully corroborate what I discovered almost twenty years ago.
At that time I quoted in For Your Own Good at length
the pedagogical advice given to parents in Germany a century
ago, and detailed what I believed to be a connection between the
systematic cruelty of these methods and the systematic cruelty
of Hitler's executioners forty years later. The numerous and
widely-read tracts by Dr. Daniel Gottlieb Schreber, the inventor
of the Schrebergärten (the German word for "small
allotments"), are of major interest here. Some of his books
ran to as many as forty editions around the year 1860, and their
central concern was to instruct parents in the systematic
upbringing of infants from the very first day of life. Many
people - motivated by what they thought to be the best of
intentions complied with the advice given them by Schreber and
other authors about how best to raise their children. Today we
would call it a systematic instruction in child persecution and
maltreatment. One of Schreber's convictions was that when babies
cry they should be made to desist by the use of spanking,
assuring his readers that "such a procedure is only
necessary once, or at the most twice, and then one is master of
the child for all time. From then on, one look, one single
gesture will suffice". Above all, these books counseled
that the newborn child should be forced from the very first day
to obey and to refrain from crying.
We all know - or, today, we should all know - that physical
punishment only produces obedient children but cannot prevent
them from becoming violent or sick adults precisely because of
this treatment. This knowledge is now scientifically proven and
was finally officially accepted by the American Academy of
Pediatrics in 1998. Contrary to common opinion prevalent as
recently as fifteen years ago, the human brain at birth is far
from being fully developed. It is use-dependent, needing loving
stimulation for the child from her first day on. The abilities a
person's brain can develop depend on experiences in the first
three years of life.
Studies on abandoned and severely maltreated Romanian
children, as an example, revealed striking lesions in certain
areas of the brain. The repeated traumatization has led to an
increased release of stress hormones which have attacked the
sensitive tissue of the brain and destroyed the new, already
built-up neurons. The areas of their brains responsible for the
"management" of their emotions are twenty to thirty
percent smaller than in other children of the same age.
Obviously, all children (not only Romanian) who suffer such
abandonment and maltreatment will be damaged in this way.
The neurobiological research makes it easier for us to
understand the way Nazis like Eichmann, Himmler, Hess and others
functioned. The rigorous obedience training they underwent in
earliest infancy stunted the development of such human
capacities as compassion and pity for the sufferings of others.
Their total emotional atrophy enabled the perpetrators of the
most heinous crimes imaginable to function "normally"
and to continue without the slightest remorse to impress their
environment with their efficiency in the years after the war.
Dr. Mengele could make the most cruel experiments with Jewish
children in Auschwitz and then live for thirty years like a
"normal," well adjusted man.
Those turn-of-the-century children who were "subjugated
by looks" and systematically subjected to obedience
drilling were not only exposed to corporal correction but also
to severe emotional deprivation. The upbringing manuals of the
day described physical demonstrations of affection such as
stroking, cuddling and kissing as indications of a doting,
mollycoddling attitude. Parents were warned of the disastrous
effects of spoiling their children, a form of indulgence
entirely incompatible with the prevalent ideal of rigor and
severity. As a result, infants suffered from the absence of
direct loving contact with the parents, which also caused
certain areas of the brain to remain underdeveloped.
I found it logical that a child beaten often and deprived of
loving physical contact would quickly pick up the language of
violence. For him this language became the only effective means
of communication available. However, when I began to illustrate
my thesis by drawing on the examples of Hitler, Stalin, Mao,
Ceaucescu, when I tried to expose the social consequences of
child maltreatment, I first encountered strong resistance.
Repeatedly I was told, "I, too, was a battered child, but
that didn't make me a criminal." When I asked these people
for details about their childhood, I was always told of a person
who made the difference, a sibling, a teacher, a neighbor, just
somebody who liked or even loved them but, at least in most
cases, was unable to protect them. Yet through his presence this
person gave the child a notion of trust and love.
I call these persons "helping witnesses."
Dostoyevsky, for instance, had a brutal father, but a loving
mother. She wasn't strong enough to protect him from his father,
but she gave him a powerful conception of love, without which
his novels would have been unthinkable. Many have also been
lucky enough to find "enlightened" and courageous
witnesses, people who helped them to recognize the injustices
they suffered, the significance the hurtful treatment had for
them, and its influences on their whole life. They may even
suffer much in their life, may become drug addicted, and have
relationship problems, but thanks to the few good experiences in
their childhood usually do not become criminals. The criminal
outcome seems to be connected with a childhood that didn't
provide any helping witness, that was a place of constant threat
and fear.
In my book The Untouched Key I mention the severe
trauma that the child Pablo Picasso underwent at the age of
three: the earthquake in Malaga in 1884, the flight from the
family's apartment into a cave that seemed to be more safe, and
eventually witnessing the birth of his sister in the same cave
under these very scary circumstances. However, Picasso survived
these traumas without later becoming psychotic or criminal
because he was protected by his very loving parents. They were
able to give him what he most needed in this chaotic situation:
empathy, compassion, protection and the feeling of being safe in
their arms.
Thanks to the presence of his parents, the two enlightened
witnesses of his fear and pain, not only during the earthquake
but also throughout his whole childhood, he was later able to
express his early, frightening experiences in a creative way. In
Picasso's famous painting "Guernica" we can see what
might have happened in the mind of the three-year-old child
while he was watching the dying people and horses and listening
to the children screaming for help on the long walk to the
shelter. Small children can go unscared even through bomb-raids
if they feel safe in the arms of their parents.
It is much more difficult for a child to overcome early
traumatization if they are caused by their own parents. In my
book Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, which has now come out in a
new edition, I analyze the childhood of the writer Franz Kafka.
I try to show that the nightmares he describes in his stories
recount exactly what might have happened to the small, severely
neglected infant Kafka. He was born into a family in which he
must have felt like the hero of "The Castle" (ordered
about but not needed and constantly misled) or like K. in
"The Trial" (charged with incomprehensible guilt) or
like "The Hunger Artist" who never found the food he
was so strongly longing for. Thanks to the love and the deep
comprehension of his sister Otla in his puberty, his late
"helping witness," Kafka could eventually give
expression to his suffering in writing. Does it mean that he
therefore overcame his traumatic childhood? He could indeed
write his work, full of knowledge and wisdom, but why did he die
so early - in his thirties - of tuberculosis? It happened in a
time when he knew many people who loved and admired him.
However, these good experiences could not erase the unconscious
emotions and memories stored in his body.
Kafka was hardly aware of the fact that the main sources of
his imagination were deeply hidden in his early childhood. Most
writers aren't. But the amnesia of an artist or writer, though
sometimes a burden for their body, doesn't have any negative
consequences for society. The readers simply admire the work and
are rarely interested in the writers' infancy . However, the
amnesia of politicians or leaders of sects does afflict
countless people, and will continue to do so, as long as society
remains blind to the important connections between the denial of
traumatic experiences in early childhood and the destructive,
criminal actions of individuals.
Anyone addressing the problem of child abuse is likely to be
faced with a very strange finding: it has been observed again
and again that parents who tend to maltreat and neglect their
children do it in ways which resemble the treatment they endured
in their own childhood, without any conscious memory of their
early experiences. Fathers who sexually abuse their children are
usually unaware of the fact that they had themselves suffered
the same abuse. It is rather in therapy, even if ordered by the
courts, that they can discover, sometimes stupefied, their own
history. And realize thereby that for years they have attempted
to act out their own scenario, just to get rid of it.
The explanation of this fact is that information about the
cruelty suffered during childhood remains stored in the brain in
the form of unconscious memories. For a child, conscious
experience of such treatment is impossible. If children are not
to break down completely under the pain and the fear, they must
repress that knowledge. But the unconscious memories of the
child who has been neglected and maltreated, even before he has
learned to speak, drive the adult to reproduce those repressed
scenes over and over again in the attempt to liberate himself
from the fears that cruelty has left with him. Former victims
create situations in which they can assume the active role. In
this way the emotion of fear can indeed be avoided momentarily -
but not in the long term, because the repressed emotions of the
past don't change as long as they remain unnoticed. They can
only be transformed into hatred directed towards oneself and/or
scapegoats, such as one's own children or alleged enemies. I see
this hatred as a possible consequence of the old rage and
despair, never consciously felt, but stored up in the body, in
the limbic brain.
The German reformer Martin Luther, for example, was an
intelligent and educated man, but he hated all Jews and he
encouraged parents to beat their children. He was no perverted
sadist like Hitler's executioners. But 400 years before Hitler
he was disseminating this kind of destructive counsel. According
to Eric Ericson's biography, Luther's mother beat him severely
even before he was treated this way by his father and his
teacher. He believed this punishment had "done him
good" and was therefore justified. The conviction stored in
his body that if parents do it then it must be right to torment
someone weaker than yourself left a much more lasting impression
on him than the divine commandments and the Christian
exhortations to love your neighbor and be compassionate toward
the weak.
Similar cases are discussed by Philip Greven in his highly
informative book Spare the Child. He quotes various
American men and women of the church recommending cruel beatings
for babies and infants in the first few months of life as a way
of ensuring that the lesson thus learnt remains impressed on
them for the rest of their life. Unfortunately they were only
too right. These terrible, destructive texts which have misled
so many parents are the conclusive proof of the long-lasting
effect of beating. They could only have been written by people
who were exposed to merciless beatings as children and later
glorified what they had been through. Their cruel beliefs could
only grow up in the darkness of their own cruel and repressed
infancy. Fortunately, these books were not published in forty
editions in the USA.
As the example of Luther shows, nothing that a child learns
later about morality at home, in school or in church will ever
have the same strong and long lasting effect as the treatment
inflicted on his or her body in the first few days, weeks and
months. The lesson learned in the first three years cannot be
expunged. If the body of a child learns from birth that
tormenting and punishing an innocent creature is the right thing
to do, and that the child's suffering must not be acknowledged,
that message will always be stronger than intellectual knowledge
acquired at a later stage. Greven's examples eloquently
demonstrate that people subjected to maltreatment in childhood
may go on insisting all their lives that beatings are harmless
although there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Can a
person who still supports corporal punishment of children be
considered as somebody who has overcome his or her abuse? He may
still remain a blind victim who refuses to face his history and
to work on it. Instead he will give destructive advice until his
death and continue to ignore the child's pain, because his view
of reality is severely distorted by early unconscious
experience. On the other hand, a child protected, loved and
cherished from the outset will thrive on that experience for a
lifetime and develop empathy for others.
It is interesting that almost all rescuers of Jews during the
Holocaust who were interviewed reported that their parents had
attempted to discipline them with arguments and support rather
than punishment. They were not beaten. People given early
affection and support are quick to emulate the sympathetic and
autonomous natures of their parents. Common to all the rescuers
were self-confidence, the ability to make immediate decisions
and the capacity for empathy and compassion with others. Seventy
per cent of them said that it only took them a matter of minutes
to decide they wanted to intervene. Eighty percent said they did
not consult anyone else.
This attitude, prized in all cultures as "noble,"
is not something instilled in children with fine words. If the
behavior actually displayed by caretakers is such as to
contradict their own words, if children are spanked in the name
of lofty ideals, as is still the custom in some parochial
schools, then those elevated sentiments are doomed to go unheard
or even to provoke rage and violence. The children may end up
aping those high-minded phrases and mouthing them in later life,
but they will never put them into practice because they have no
example to emulate.
In my most recent book, Paths of Life, I try to
illustrate this dynamic by describing Hitler's childhood, a
childhood that offers us many still untouched keys. Hitler's
specific problems with Jews can in fact be traced back to the
period before his birth. In her youth, Hitler's paternal
grandmother had been employed in a Jewish merchant's household
in Graz. After her return home to the Austrian village of
Braunau, she gave birth to a son - Alois, later to become
Hitler's father - and received child-support payments from the
family in Graz for fourteen years. This story, which is
recounted in many biographies of Hitler, represented a dilemma
for the Hitler family. They had of course an interest in denying
that the young woman had been left with a child either by the
Jewish merchant or his son. On the other hand it was impossible
to assert that a Jew would pay child-support for so long without
good reason. Such generosity on the part of a Jew would have
been inconceivable for the inhabitants of an Austrian village.
Thus the Hitler family was faced with the insoluble dilemma of
devising a version that would serve to nullify their
"disgrace."
For Alois Hitler the suspicion that he might be of Jewish
descent was insufferable in the context of the anti-Jewish
environment in which he was raised. All the plaudits he earned
himself as a customs officer were insufficient to liberate him
from the latent rage at the disgrace and humiliation visited on
him through no fault of his own. The only thing he could do with
impunity was to take out this rage on his son Adolf. According
to the reports of his daughter of a former marriage, Angela,
Alois beat his son mercilessly every day. In an attempt to
exorcise his childhood fears, his son nurtured the manic
delusion that it was up to him to free not only himself of
Jewish blood but also all Germany and later the whole world.
Right up to his death in the bunker, Hitler remained a victim of
this delusion because all his life his fear of his half-Jewish
father had remained locked in his unconscious mind.
I have set out these ideas in greater detail in my book For
Your Own Good. One can find them highly unsettling and in no
way sufficient to explain Hitler's actions. Not all his actions,
I agree, but certainly his delusions. And those delusions were
at the very least the foundation of his actions, as all our
unconscious emotions can become. I can certainly picture the boy
Hitler swearing vengeance on "the Jews," those
monstrous fantasy-figures of an already diseased imagination.
Consciously, he probably thought he could have led a happy life
if "the Jew" had not plunged his grandmother into the
disgrace that he and his family had to live with. And it was
this that in his eyes served to excuse the beatings he received
from his father, who, after all, was himself "a victim of
the evil and omnipotent Jew." In the mind of an angry,
seriously confused child, it is only a short step from there to
the idea that all Jews should be exterminated.
Not only Jews. In the household of Hitler's family lived for
years the very unpredictable schizophrenic aunt Johanna whose
behavior is reported to have been very scary for the child. As
an adult Hitler ordered to be killed every handicapped and
psychotic person to free the German society from this burden.
Germany seemed for him to symbolize the innocent child who had
to be saved. Consequently, Hitler wanted to protect his nation
from the dangers he himself had faced. Absurd? Not at all. For
an unconscious mind this kind of symbolization might sound very
normal and logical.
Besides those fears connected to father and aunt there was
his early relationship with his very intimidated mother, who
herself lived in constant fear of her husband's violent
outbursts and beatings. She called him "uncle Alois"
and endured patiently his humiliating treatment without any
protest. Adolf's mother had lost her first three children to
illness and Adolf was her first child to survive infancy. We can
easily imagine that the milk he drank from his mother was in a
way "poisoned" by her own fear. He drank her milk
together with her fears but was of course unable to understand
or integrate them. These irrational fears - that an outsider,
watching his speeches on videos, can easily recognize - stayed
unrecognized and unconscious to Hitler until the end of his
life. Stored up in his body, they drove him constantly to new
destructive actions in his endless attempt to find an outcome.
To his dying day, Hitler was convinced that only the death of
every single Jew could shield him from the fearful and daily
memory of his brutal father.
In the absence of positive factors, affection and helping
witnesses, the only course open to the mistreated individual
seems to be the denial of personal suffering and the
idealization of cruelty with all its devastating after-effects.
Undergoing an exceedingly humiliating and cruel upbringing at
the pre-verbal stage without helping witnesses may instill into
the victim admiration of this cruelty if there is no one in the
immediate vicinity of the child to query those methods and stand
up for humane values.
Therefore it didn't surprise me that in the childhood of
people who later became dictators, I have always found a
nightmarish horror, a record of continued lies and humiliations,
which, upon the attainment of adulthood, impelled them to acts
of merciless revenge on society. These vengeful acts were always
garbed in hypocritical ideologies, purporting that the
dictator's exclusive and overriding wish was the happiness of
his people. In this way, he unconsciously emulated his own
parents who, in earlier days, had also insisted that their blows
were inflicted on the child for his own good.
In the lives of all the tyrants I analyzed, I also found
without exception paranoid trains of thought bound up with their
biographies in early childhood and the repression of the
experiences they had been through. Mao had been regularly
whipped by his father and later sent 30 million people to their
deaths but he hardly ever admitted the full extent of the rage
he must have felt for his own father, a very severe teacher who
had tried through beatings to "make a man" out of his
son. Stalin caused millions to suffer and die because even at
the height of his power his actions were determined by
unconscious, infantile fear of powerlessness. Apparently his
father, a poor cobbler from Georgia, attempted to drown his
frustration with liquor and whipped his son almost every day.
His mother displayed psychotic traits, was completely incapable
of defending her son and was usually away from home either
praying in church or running the priest's household. Stalin
idealized his parents right up to the end of his life and was
constantly haunted by the fear of dangers, dangers that had long
since ceased to exist but were still present in his deranged
mind. His fear didn't even stop after he had been loved and
admired by millions.
The same might be true of many other tyrants. They often drew
on ideologies to disguise the truth and their own paranoia. And
the masses chimed in enthusiastically because they were unaware
of the real motives, including those in their own biographies.
The infantile revenge fantasies of individuals would be of no
account if society did not regularly show such naive eagerness
in helping to make them come true. Mad tyrants would not have
any power if society understood that it is their damaged brains
which are constantly driving them to avoid dangers that no
longer exist.
Naturally, my references to Schreber and his methods are not
sufficient to explain the history of the Holocaust but they do
explain a lot. However, in no way should this explanation lead
to an exoneration of the perpetrators, relieving them of their
responsibility by declaring them "sick." No
upbringing, however cruel, is a license for murder. But blaming
the whole thing on a defective genetic blueprint doesn't make
much sense either. As I asked before: Why should there have been
so many people born in Germany thirty or forty years before the
Holocaust with such a fateful genetic disposition? I do not know
of any gene researcher who would try to answer this question. It
is quite absurd to assume that some people are born with the
genetic program to later become anti-Semites, racists, lynchers
or rapists. The almost total neglect or trivialization of the
infancy factor in the context of violence sometimes leads to
explanations that are not only unconvincing and abortive but
which actively deflect attention away from the genuine roots of
violence.
Also, the existence of exceptions showed again and again that
propaganda and manipulation at school alone were not sufficient
to transform people into mass murderers. Only men and women who
had experienced mental and physical cruelty in the first weeks
and months of life and had been shown no love at all could
possibly have let themselves be made into Hitler's willing
executioners. As Goldhagen's archive material shows, they needed
almost no ideological indoctrination because their bodies knew
exactly what they wanted to do as soon as they were allowed to
follow their inclinations. And as the Jews, young or old, had
been declared non-persons, there was nothing to stop them
indulging those inclinations. But no amount of indoctrination
alone, at school or wherever, will unleash hatred in a person
who has no preconditions in that direction. It is well known
that there were also Germans, like Karl Jaspers, Hermann Hesse
and Thomas Mann, who immediately recognized the declaration that
Jews were non-persons as an alarm signal and the rallying cry of
untrammeled barbarism.
Doubtless there are people who grew up with loving and
protecting parents who could later find a kind, sympathetic
partner, could organize their life and become good parents, even
if they had to go through the horror of a concentration camp
during their adolescence. On the other hand, the lives of many
were broken, even without catastrophic experiences in their
later life. They just couldn't find the way to liberate
themselves from their old fears, never identified as such. From
many cases of survivors I learned that it was the quality of
their infancy that determined the way they overcame later
threats, including the Holocaust.
Adults who grew up without helping witnesses need the support
and assistance of enlightened witnesses, of people who are well
aware of the dynamics of child abuse, people who can help them
to take their feelings seriously, understand them and integrate
them, as part of their own story. In an informed society,
adolescents will have the luck to talk to others about their
early experiences. They will be able to verbalize their truth
and to discover themselves in their own story, their own
tragedy, without avenging themselves violently for their wounds,
or to poison their systems with drugs.
I have wrongly been attributed to the thesis according to
which every victim inevitably becomes a persecutor, a thesis
that I find totally false, indeed absurd. To say that every cow
is an animal doesn't include the statement that every animal is
a cow. It has been proved that many adults have had the good
fortune to break the cycle of abuse. Yet I can certainly aver
that I have never come across persecutors who weren't themselves
victims in their childhood, though most of them don't know it
because their feelings are repressed. The less these criminals
know about themselves, the more dangerous they are to society.
So I think it is crucial to grasp the difference between the
statement, "every victim becomes a persecutor," which
is wrong, and the statement, "every persecutor was a victim
in his childhood," which I consider true. The problem is
that, feeling nothing, he remembers nothing, realizes nothing,
and this is why surveys don't always reveal the truth. Yet the
presence of a warm, enlightened witness ... therapist, social
worker, lawyer, judge ... can help the criminal unlock his
repressed feelings and restore the unrestricted flow of
consciousness. This can initiate the process of escape from the
vicious circle of amnesia and violence.
Working toward a better future cannot be done without
legislation that clearly forbids corporal punishment toward
children and makes society aware of the fact that children are
people too. The whole society and its legal system can then play
the role of a reliable, enlightened and protecting witness for
children at risk, children of adolescent, drug addicted
criminals who may themselves become predators without such
assistance. The only reason why a parent might smack his
children is the parent's own history. All other so-called
reasons, such as poverty and unemployment, are pure
mystification. There are unemployed parents who don't spank
their children and there are many wealthy parents who maltreat
their children in the most cruel way and teach them to minimize
the terror by calling it the right education. With a law
prohibiting corporal punishment towards children, people of the
next generation will not have recorded the highly misleading
information in their brain, an almost irreversible damage. They
will be able to have empathy with a child and understand what
has been done to children over millennia. It is a realistic hope
to think that then (and only then) the human mind and behavior
will change. With a law that forbids spanking every citizen
becomes an enlightened witness.